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“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.”

~Richard Bach

Dear Friend:


“I’m overwhelmed.” “That’s just how I am.” “Doing it this way works for me.” I hear these and statements like them from many of my clients. I get it. When invited—or challenged—to change long-held habits, it often seems easier to make an excuse or defend your position. I’ve noticed it happening more often lately and that might be because these past two years have been full of so many sudden, unasked for and unwanted changes.


There were times I’m sure my friends were sorry they asked me how I was doing because I would inevitably reply with, “I’m overwhelmed,” and proceed to tell them all I was burdened with at that particular time. Poor me! One of the positives of these past 18 months is I haven’t heard myself say that lately, which is probably why my friends call more often! It’s not that I magically became a wizard at managing my time and balancing my life and work. It’s that I’m acutely aware of how easily overwhelm can wash over me and I ferociously protect myself from that feeling.


Even as an extrovert and social creature, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed in crowds I’m not used to being in or by a day filled with meeting after meeting instead of quiet time and playtime with the kids. So, I design my days to be filled with a mixture of business meetings, a call/lunch/coffee with friends, creative projects and time with the kids. Sure, there are days that are heavier with one activity than another, but it balances out. When it’s difficult to find time to schedule time with a friend, I stop, breathe and regroup. What is important? What and who did I miss when we had to isolate? What can I say no to so I can say yes to those precious activities and people?


When someone says, “That’s just how I am” or “Doing it this way works for me,” I pay attention to whether they are saying that proudly or out of fear of change. Do they consider that particular habit an asset or are they simply choosing to tolerate it because it’s easier—or seems easier—to stay stagnant rather than change. If “that’s just how you are” is in any way stopping you from being all you want to be, if it’s making you feel less joyful than you deserve, if you beat yourself up after you do it, saying things like, “I can’t believe I did that again,” perhaps it’s worth putting some trust and effort into changing it. Remember, “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.”


Open up to change and you’ll be surprised what comes into your life!

With gratitude,



Amy Ayoub

President, The Zen Speaker |

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