top of page
The Truth Will Set You Free

Dear Friend:


I got slapped in the face last week with a mirror reflecting some of my past behavior and it made me less than proud.


A person I’ve known for over 20 years messaged me to tell me she had just viewed the documentary that Robin Greenspun made about my life, The Zen Speaker: Breaking the Silence.  She went on to tell me how it will benefit others and complimented me generously. Then she told me that she hadn’t liked me, that she had found me unkind and that she even viewed me as cruel because of how I treated a friend of hers. Although the situation was 20+ years ago, I remembered it—and she was right. I was wrong, I was mean, and it has bothered me for years. Several years ago, I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to apologize to the person my cruelty was directed at, and she accepted it graciously. I saw her in person after that and apologized once again. It didn’t take the pain away that I had caused her, it didn’t make it right, and it certainly didn’t dissolve my regret and guilt. The writer ended her first message with more kind words about the positive change she saw in me through the film.


I responded by acknowledging my past behavior, sharing that I had apologized, and telling her how guilty and badly I still felt. She reminded me she had written to celebrate me, and then shared something else I had done that she didn’t like. This continued until she had added a few more memories I regretted, although I didn’t remember them all. Beautiful compliments about the current me, which she had discovered through the film, accompanied the memories I was forced—but hated—to revisit. 


What an uncomfortable gift she handed me! It held so many lessons in it, some of which will take me awhile longer to process. And now, I have someone I have liked and admired over the years as a friend because she opened her heart enough to allow a different me in. 


What were some of the lessons for me?


  1. That forgiving myself is still a work in progress and worth the effort.

  2. That there are others out there who haven’t confronted me who feel the same way she did. Can I reach out to anyone else and make amends? 

  3. Instead of being passive aggressive, honestly stating our feelings of hurt and anger can be healing for both parties.

  4. I need to do more shadow work (Carl Jung) and remember to accept and integrate my shadow self. I’ve begun to work on that again with my spiritual guide/therapist.

  5. While I was whining that all I wanted was to hear “I’m sorry” from my mother (which I did finally hear last year after she saw my documentary—and yes, it healed us!), how many people are out there hoping to hear the same from me? Forgiveness meditations and rituals may be all I can do to reach them, but I’m determined to do what I can.

  6. I can’t fool myself and say all my unkindness was left in my past—it rears its ugly head still, although much less often. But once is too much for the person it’s aimed at, and I believe this is where my focus needs to be—this awareness which will lead to less of that behavior and to more healing. I’m so grateful this awareness was brought to me by the courageous message my new friend sent me.

  7. Finding my voice also means finding the soft one; the one that can authentically and compassionately say, “I am sorry.”


Let’s make this a day of amends. Is there someone that deserves an apology from you? Is it possible for you to directly make amends or could you at least write a letter even if it never gets sent? Maybe starting with yourself will help. Try this: Close your eyes or gaze down softly, take 3-4 deep breaths and then say to yourself, “I am sorry I have been so unkind to you, (say your name). Please forgive me. I love you.” 


When we master self-forgiveness, miracles will happen! And you are worthy of a miracle!


With gratitude,



Amy Ayoub

President, The Zen Speaker |

INVESTMENT: $1,500 per attendee
Use the link below to select your preferred retreat weekend.

Beyond the Expected: 
Learning The Zen Speaker System (Level 1)


Making a few slight changes in your communication skills will create a significant difference in how you impact your audience. During this 4-month program, you’ll learn proven techniques designed to lessen the time you’ll need to reach your goals as you:


  • Become calm, confident and compelling in the spotlight

  • Gain instant credibility with your audience

  • Conquer anxiety through proven techniques you can practice anywhere

  • Present in a conversational and engaging manner

  • Discover and share your unique story to create a personal connection


What you need to know about Beyond the Expected:

  • The environment will be safe and respectful

  • Sessions are once a month on the 3rd Friday for 4 months

  • Classes are from 8:30 am – noon

  • Class is limited to 12 people

Take the first step and go Beyond the Expected with The Zen Speaker.

Upcoming Virtual Class
Begins Friday, September 10, 2021
8:30 AM - 12 PM

$2,500 is the investment in yourself!

Early Bird Rate of $1,500 available through Monday, September 4, 2021.

bottom of page