Dear Friends,
In this week's newsletter, we'll begin the 12-step journey that will enable you to overcome your fear of public speaking and embrace authentic conversations, whether that’s with one person or one thousand. Even if you don’t think shame could be a reason for your fear of public speaking, these steps will allow you to become powerful and effective whenever you communicate by being calm, confident, and compelling.
If you missed the last newsletter that included an introduction to the 12-Step Series, click here to read it before you join us for Steps One and Two.
Step One: Surrender to the Knowledge There is No Perfection
Even if you can see what you would consider perfection in a certain situation, it wouldn’t necessarily be considered perfection by your audience. As you try to define perfection, you may see that it’s merely an excuse not to act, not to complete a project or speech.
What if instead of attempting to reach the ever-elusive perfection, you focus on building a connection? As you think about how you’ll approach the front of the room, deliver your opening line, share your information, close your presentation, and accept the kudos you receive afterward, continue to ask yourself, “Will this connect me to my audience (whether that’s one person or 1,000) and, if not, what can I do to connect?”
Set the need or desire for perfection free and you’ll find yourself communicating in a way that empowers you and those who read or hear your words.
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Step Two: Recognize There is No Courage Without Fear
When I heard this, I had to think about it and then was surprised I hadn’t realized it before—it now seems so obvious. Think about a time someone told you that you were courageous or when you told someone they were. What were the circumstances? Most likely, there was fear attached to it, and it was the acting through the fear that manifested as courage.
Has someone ever declared you courageous and you think, “If they only knew! I don’t feel courageous.” When I finally shared my story of being trafficked, it was in front of the Nevada Legislature in support of a bill to increase the penalties for traffickers. I thought I was going to be greeted with ridicule and rejection, and instead I was greeted with love and choirs of voices singing, “Amy, you’re so courageous.” All I felt was the overwhelming fear and then the relief when it was over. I didn’t feel courageous; I felt I did what I had to do…I couldn’t keep it in anymore. When I heard “there is no courage without fear,” it all made sense. I acted through my fear and that was courageous. I bet you have done the same at some point in your life.
Feeling the fear is common; acting in spite of the fear, isn’t. What would happen if you chose to take the road less traveled and acted through your fear? Where can you try it? When will you?
With gratitude,
Amy
Amy Ayoub
President, The Zen Speaker